The Follow Through

     It’s no secret I like dating/talking to men/meeting new people.  I’m human and I do things I shouldn’t more often then I care to admit. You know you do dumb shit to so don’t give me that look I imagine you are giving me right now.  I say things I shouldn’t without even thinking… um hi have you read my articles?! Sometimes my thoughts aren’t not so well received, and I catch the wrath of someone I didn’t mean to offend.  I typically don’t realize what I’ve done until it’s too late to do anything about. I ramble and just lay it out there saying what exactly is on my mind; no holds bar policy applies here. I personally think it’s better to have things open and honest if someone can’t handle reality/ the truths then they need to put on their big boy or girl panties and grow the fuck up. Life isn’t going to hold back the shit just because you can’t handle it. Now that being said you are probably totally confused on what direction this article is going…. Read the whole thing before you burn me at the stake, ok? Cool.

     There is this thing that I’ve noticed that men do, but I’ve also seen women do it too. I’m ashamed that I’ve even done this. By far one of the most hurtful things is when someone says they’re going to do something and then they don’t fucking do it. It’s rude first of all. Secondly, it’s going to hurt someone eventually, or at the very minimum disappoint them. You look like a lying asshole no matter how wonderful you may be. Any excuse that you could have possibly had for not doing whatever it was you said you would do is really a moot point.

     Whether it’s someone you just met, or you’ve been with for years. One of the most heart breaking things to hear “I will call/text you tomorrow…” and then when tomorrow has come and gone you don’t hear from them. I’ve done this to someone and I regretted it almost instantly. I did everything I could do to make it right but talking to that person but wasn’t the same afterwards. It’s happened to me as well and nothing really is as nerve wracking as to start to like a guy as you are getting to know each other and he suddenly goes a wall. “I will call/text you tomorrow…” and I in my brash fashioned went off on this guy. Yes he did have a legitimate excuse and I really had no right to flip shit because we hadn’t made anything official. I felt bad when he explained but would it have killed him to say “Sorry, work was insane” as soon as he could instead of waiting for me to go off like bomb?!  No, it wasn’t that hard.

     While I don’t like excuses, I know shit happens. You’ve got to roll with the punches but excuses don’t change the nervous disappointment/ anger that one feels dealing with the situation. If it’s a legitimate excuse it’s ok, but if it happens more than once it’s gone too far. People can only take so much. The end result of being pushed too far is that things start to break/snap. I know when I’m pushed and upset I lash out at people saying things I don’t mean exactly the way I said them. There’s really only one exception to this, but I will get to that in a minute. It sucks to disappoint someone you care about because you’re going to have to own up to and do whatever it takes to make up fucking up. It sucks to be the person that didn’t get the call the next day. The person waited with their phone in the hand all day hoping you would call/text/message/ etc. If you don’t want to continue with the relationship or whatever at least have the courtesy to say it’s not working for me and that you’re sorry. That is so much better than silently saying “You aren’t even worth my time rejecting you.” This is what goes through a person’s mind when they’re told that they will get a call but the call never comes.

Yea, I know this article didn’t carry my over whelming sarcastic wit but I felt this needed to be said. It’s not that hard to just tell someone “I’m not into it anymore.” Silent rejections seem ok at first until you experience it. Don’t do that to someone that was hoping to have someone with you. Hope is just as painful as rejection because eventually the person you rejected figures it out and feels like a fool. Just follow through and tell them.

 

EXCEPTION TIME!!!!!

   The only exception to this deals with military relationships. There are things that your service member can’t tell you. There are things they have no control over (FYI if their boss says they need to do something their promise to you is null and void instantly). You can bet your sweet ass that if they care about you, they just took a sucker punch to the emotional “gut”. They may not even be allowed to explain why they didn’t call like they promised they would tell you. If they actually care at all about the potential “us”, they are now terrified that they just fucked up another potentially good relationship because of Uncle Sam…. Again. Duty comes before “Goodnight Sweetheart”, “I’m stuck at work, I’m sorry.”